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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?